Did I honestly say that

Tigers (oh my god) 0-5 Red Sox

Very early signs that this blog is run by at least one jackass (things that I've said in the past week):


"I'm still not that worried about our chances of winning the division..."

That's an outright lie. I have no idea why I would say such a thing. "Not that worried"........really? Like, at all? Seven games into the season and I'm already arguing with myself. This blog sucks.

"Wake me when we're 0-10..."

I take it back. Wake me up right the fuck now. Immediately. This has to be some kind of bad dream. A seemingly endless, bottomless, hopeless, week-long bad dream.

"The losses don't bother me as much as the injuries do..."

I don't even know what this really means. They both bother me a lot so picking one over the other in order to make some kind of ludicrous point in an attempt to essentially keep a level head on my shoulders is asinine. And don't forget the number of times that I've made fun of people for already wanting to wander through freeway traffic over the horror that has been the start to this season. Hey, I'm right at that point myself guys.

People talk about sample sizes and the marathon-length to the season and general trends, but it's pretty apparent as it stands-- we're in for a long Summer regardless. Whether they keep up this funk and stretch out the "longest offseason" in Tigers history into the "longest actual season" in Tigers history, or even if they dig themselves out of the hole and taunt us with the possibility of an amazing turnaround, this is going to be one stressful ride. I know that most of these hitters have proven over the course of their careers that what we're seeing right now doesn't represent what they're likely to do for the rest of the season...but they honestly couldn't win ONE of these games just by accident? Just to sooth the mind if even for one lousy day? And 15 fucking runs in seven games? There are teams with lineups that are half as good as the one we've got, so I'm going to try to calm down. Still, though, I'm getting tired of waiting.

It's obvious where the pitching is leading us. I think that if Verlander and Bonderman don't turn into a Sabbathia/Carmona-like tandem, like as soon as possible, we're cooked. Basically, when you look at the roster, we're like a glorified Texas Rangers/90's Colorado Rockies team. We were counting on our hitting to slug us to victory and for the pitching to be at least average, and after seven games, absolutely nothing has happened. If we would've got off to a hot start, then I would've at least been able to maintain what I thought/said in that season preview (god that feels like forever ago), which is that I'm scared about how the pitching is going to turn out, but we've got enough bats to out-duel Cleveland. The bats will come alive, but we've given (at least) a 7 game head start to the competition.

The pitching hasn't been atrocious in every game; it's not like we're throwing the AA staff out there. Shit, we held Boston to 5 runs today. But the problem is that, for the pitchers, we're seemingly falling back on standards that were set during the first 3 quarters of the '06 season.....a season in which there were almost no injuries, we got a super year out of a rookie, a 40-something year old dude actually came through when it mattered, the bullpen was tremendous (and healthy, remember), and everybody else seemed to give either their career year or something that was at least above what they're expected to provide. And from then on, things have regressed somewhat to the norm, so now it feels like we're waiting for something to happen that we might not see for a very long time.

I don't know what's so different about a 0-7 start as opposed to an 0-6 start, but for whatever reason, the amount of panic has seemed to go up a notch with me, as you might be able to tell from these last two posts. I can't accurately explain it. I think it has something to do with the fact that, from 2005 going backward, I only had one constant thing that I was used to when it came to Tiger baseball -- losing. And more importantly, the expectation of losing. Then, in only 2+ years, we had unexpected success, followed by inexplicable joy in going to the World Series, followed by a blur of a five-game World Series loss, followed by the hope that we could just keep this competitive thing going, followed by The Trade that sent expectations to a higher level than I'd ever seen before as a fan, followed by the shithole that we're in now. I guess this has all been a lot to digest in such a short period of time, and it's turned me into a menopausal housewife. I need a bottle of peroxide to guzzle right about now.